Is it just me or does the fact that I can be in the middle of putting dishes away and have a surge of desire for my piano, leaving a handful of spoons awaiting my return, qualify me as easily distracted or easily moved? Am I scattered-brained or passionate? Probably a little bit of both. And I like it and I don't.
This is something that is so me that I've tried to change in my quest for responsible adulthood, in the process finding that I like the quirky me-ness of this little person who I am. I have learned at my best moments to laugh and love idiosyncrasies in my personality that might otherwise frustrate me. This is an honest evaluation of where I'm at right now.
At times I step back from an outside view and imagine my soul saying, "Wow, you are a funny little personality to work with." I know that sounds weird but I guess that's exactly what I mean. Of course my career choice allows me to be a bit more indulgent than people who work outside the home. I get to be the stay-home mom and all that entails while my amazing husband works his tail off to make sure I get a latte every Sunday afternoon. He may step back and ponder my funny personality every now and then too. Nobody, including myself, takes my writing endeavors too seriously yet, so I can't quite claim that as a job. It's more of a lifestyle and an evolution.
I have to admit that when I'm in true form, I am quite childlike. Is that okay? Everything gets done, but it gets done in my fashion. And I'm so much happier when I'm living like that than trying to fit myself into the model of what I have believed for so many years that I should be. Not that I don't have room for growth...I DO. The wonderful thing about this discovery is that I can push my way into someone else's idea of how I need to be OR I can love life as me and celebrate the challenge of facing my weaknesses and strengths in my own wonderful way. This is what I choose because it brings me joy. And joy is awesome inspiration for embracing challenges and change.
Away
14 years ago
