Words: Inspiration

Just the sound of the word alone stirs up an elusive excitement and longing all at once. The past 6-months for me have been so wrapped up in this idea, gasping for that breath...to be inspired. The irony is wading through a deluge and complaining of thirst. Inspiration is found not in searching but in waking up.

17 Inspiring Words

At the beginning of the month I wrote a list of 17 words. My hope was to visit these words in the month of November during my Nablomopo month of posts. It would not be surprising if all of these words, being regulars to my vocabulary, have showed up in the past 20 days, but making an intention to write posts inspired by each word seems like a fabulous idea!

If you haven't visited My Woods in a while, make sure to go read why I'm thankful for my recent post deficit in the Nablomopo 30 posts in 30 days challenge. Then come back and check up on the word posts...hmmn....word posts. That is a great topic idea for a word-lovers and artist-type people.

Soul Dusting

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.

~Berthold Auerbach

My guitar sits dusty on a stand in the corner most of the time. Years ago, I used to play it everyday. Nothing moves or soothes the soul like music.

Last night I happened to be reading with my little girls, weary from a long, emotional day, when I noticed my guitar in the corner. I was feeling a need all day...a need for something. That was it. So, the girls and I made some music, "Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice."

Brushing the dust off that instrument was like a soul dusting.

That's the good stuff.

More about story...and some of mine

As I get closer to people I'm less inclined to jump to simple conclusions about their life and struggles (or how I might fix them). As the "armchair adviser" in me recedes, compassion, sadness and hope grow. As one of my mentors told me, "When you really get to know another person, sometimes all you'll want to do is weep."

Transparency fosters this continual revelation. And the more open another person is with me, the more clearly I see the truth of Plato's saying, "Be kind to everyone you meet, for everyone is waging a terrible internal battle."

~Jenny Schroedel

I concocted a soymilk eggnog latte this morning, slightly sceptical about how it would turn out. Not bad, though...very sippable. I added just a dash of cinnamon and a few drops of vanilla. Viola! Me, the barista.

Leaving breakfast dishes scattered on the table, I sat down at my computer to start writing, when a full 3D picture of my kitchen sink flashed into my brain, obscuring every other thought. So to the kitchen I flew, mindlessly arranging dirty dishes in a basin of suds and cascading water. Suddenly awareness returned. I blinked my eyes, dazed, hands dripping.

This is about being real, I think to myself. Another authentic moment...the kind that brings you back to the storyline. Mindless dashes are not uncommon in my world, but I've had 34 years now to examine those interesting quirks...not quite so many in higher level thinking.

(I am reminded of this and this and this. )

Here's something real:

When I was younger, I would have instances when disturbing scenarios would repeat over and over in my mind. One common scene would be me getting into a car and shutting the door on my leg. I would try frantically again and again to get that leg in before the door shut. It felt overwhelming, impossible. Finally, with all my brainpower, I would force the leg in and slam the door shut. Sometimes, I felt physically tired from the stress these type of episodes would cause. And, honestly, it was pretty disturbing. I thought I was weird and probably the only person to have this type of brain. High stress seemed to trigger moments like this and make them more intense.

When I felt extra stressed, I would start blinking. Sometimes my eyes would feel stuck closed. I had to work to get them open. As I got older, I would bargain with myself. Say, if I didn't get the silverware put away in the drawer just right, I would have to stab myself with one of the knives. Sounds crazy, I know. I felt a little fearful putting the utensils away, but I never followed through on those sorts of bargains. They were just there, reflecting the inner-struggle. The scenarios changed as I got older, but were always most intense in times of stress or emotional upheaval.

Now I know that I'm not crazy, just a bit obsessive...and knowing is half the battle. I can laugh at my mind's tendancy to need a tidied dorm-room in college before I could start studying.I can laugh at having to make sure the dishes are done before I blog. I can also say to myself, "leave them," and walk away. And that is an accomplishment that brings me peace. My leg no longer gets stuck in the door either. The occasional weird thought is allowed to pass through and move along without having to be "fixed."

A story that once brought me deep pain and frustration now only leaves a tinge of bittersweet. Why? Because this is a little girl I know, whom I have found deep compassion and love for...a little girl who has grown into me. And that makes me smile.

But it's only part of the story and the story is just that...a story....something to learn from, cry, laugh and grow through.

what one can be...

A musician must make music,
an artist must paint,
a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.
What one can be,
one must be.
~Abraham Maslow~

Defining Moments

There came a moment in the middle of the song
when he suddenly felt every heartbeat in the room
& after that he never forgot
he was part of something much bigger.
~Brian Andreas, Trusting Soul

Have you ever had a defining moment...one that effected you so deeply that your whole perspective and way of experiencing the world was turned upside down?

I'm thinking about this question today.

My Story

She stood at the sink so long that her hands were silky smooth, just as Palmolive promised. But the river's current had washed the spoons away. Come with me said the current. And she did.
~R

The Story People

Story

The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best--
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
~Steven Jay Gould

The Story People

Just for fun, go check out artist Brian Andreas and the Story People. Make sure you browse through the stories under StoryLand on the right. They will make you smile.
Then try creating something yourself. It doesn't have to be long or deep or award winning, just authentic and fun. I love this! I'll post mine soon :)

The List

Gratitude is a habit that takes practice. It's one that can transform your life. The happiest and most content people in the world are the ones who have learned to make gratitude a state of being.Since I've been very interested in emotions lately, I'm going to take the time to sit with the question, "What are you thankful for?" and make a list based on what I feel thankful for through my day and at this moment. Why? Because gratitude is a way to experience life every moment, a practice in wakefulness.

Today's List:
1. hot tea
2. the people a hot cup of tea brings to mind
3. poetry written by my daughter
4. my vacuum
5. an afternoon nap
6. listening to my children laugh together at Calvin and Hobbes
7. music
8. 66 degrees and sunny
9. my front porch
10. kindred spirits who cheer and inspire
11. painful impasses in life that refine us
12. my children
13. the honor of motherhood
14. this laptop
15. the man who gave it to me and encouraged me to write.

The Thankful List

Here's the idea I'm pondering today: Thankfulness. Go read this and join me if you like. Then, come back and share with me. I'll share my list with you tomorrow.

love, love, love...

Sacred Sunday: finding stillwaters

Today I'm sitting with some self-doubt and a lot of inner-chatter. This is a common pattern that I'm learning to rest with and wait out. Instead of feeling disturbed, I'm actually interested in the process of what's going on and how to move through it.

Times like this are also part of spiritual growth...finding acceptance and peace, learning to trust and be still. Trying to digest too much at a time can be overwhelming. I read this, I write that, I think and think on everything...what I'm reading, what I'm experiencing, relationships, feelings and questions. System overload. It's better to run one program at time.

So, this week my goal is to slow down, focus in, sit with one idea a day. Instead of reading three chapters of two books, perhaps being still with one idea or question per day would settle my racing thoughts and bring me back to the moment.

This will be a good challenge.

love, love, love...

I once had a sparrow alight upon my shoulder for a moment, while I was hoeing in a village garden, and I felt that I was more distinguished by that circumstance that I should have been by any epaulet I could have worn.

~Henry David Thoreau~