Old Blue Bikes and A Sacred Hush...

When I was a teenager, I found an old blue sears bicycle at a yard sale. It probably dated back to the 1950's, with a heavy frame and a very uncomfortable saddle. But I fell in love with the bike at first sighting...and I bought it for five dollars. The bike and I had many adventures, but more than anything I loved the early mornings and dusks I spent on my bike. In the summer time just around eight, I'd sling my backpack around my shoulders and jump on my old bike, heading for West Street. I don't really know how many evenings I spent sitting on the curb of that dusty old road watching the sun slip below the horizon just past the wheat field across the way. I was sure I could hear the Artist whispering in my ear..."That's for you, Ruthie." In the mornings, I would ride my bike to the city park, then walk and pray as the sun welcomed the new day. My heart thrilled at the sight of the sun and moon so clearly in the sky together...remembering the Psalm, "Where the morning dawns and the evening fades, you bring forth songs of joy." I still believe there's no better time of day than those first breaking beams of morning or the last brilliant brushstrokes in the night sky.
My old bike sits in our backyard now...more of a reminder than anything, although I take it for a ride once in a while. I still would rather spend those first moments and closing of the day in a sacred hush...often times now with a little one in my arms, but with that same sense of God's love...the same awareness of her enduring presence in us, through us, all around us.

A Minor Bird

I have wished a bird would fly away,
and not sing by my house all day;
Have clapped my hands at him from the front door
When it seemed as if I could bare no more.

The fault must partly have been in me.
The bird was not to blame for his key.

And of course there must be something wrong
In wanting to silence any song.

Robert Frost

A Point of Departure

Reading in my well-loved copy of Wayne Teasdale's devotional book, The Mystic Hours, I came across this quote by Rabbi Rami Shapiro:

A Jew cannot meet God; nor can a Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Confucian or Taoist. No labeled person can meet the Unlabeled and the Unlabelable. Each religious tradition must be self-transcending. Each must lead it's students to a point of departure and help them make the leap from tradition to Truth, God, the nondual reality that is the Source and the Substance of all things.

I know I'm stepping out here, but this quote stirred my heart deeply this morning and confirmed so well my own point of departure. The journey here has been long, arduous, at times painful, but finally so rich and full of grace. Sometimes the path felt overgrown and lonely, but looking closely revealed the ruts of other travelers along the way who had made a trail and left markers for weary souls like myself...travelers like Wayne Teasdale and Rabbi Shapiro and so many other seekers who have offered words of wisdom and inspiration to me on this path.

The Path

I have a lot to say on this blog...mainly about where I am and what's going on in my heart...the journey that has shaped the person I'm becoming. For record's sake I wanted to repost some previous entries here on this new blog. Now I'm ready to start fresh. Feel free to question...I'm all about questions. But please keep in mind that I am not a stagnant pond...it is my desire to be an open flowing channel...welcoming change and growth. There's nothing else I want more in life than to be awake...fully present, aware, wise...living love. That's what I'm leaning into, falling into. I want to remember...to know...that everything I experience is just what I need...and to be thankful....

Could We Love Like That?

"I always begin my prayer in silence, for it is in the silence of the heart that God speaks..."

~Mother Teresa~

Luke and I had the movie "Mother Teresa" in our dvd player two nights in a row and were left with the same silence both nights. No words, just a deep, deep longing to be swept over by the Spirit of God found in this woman of devotion and compassion. This was a woman who was able to see each human with the same love and offer the same dignity to even the poorest of the poor, the sick and dying. She led a life of service that flourished directly from her deep life of prayer. Teresa of Calcutta was a human with struggles and frailties, yet she was driven by an unconditional love for humanity.My first instinct upon watching this movie was a longing for such a life of service. If only I could do the same. But I am not Mother Teresa, I am a mother of four precious children and a wife to a man with a heart who longs for the same devotion to our Creator. Teresa had many, many children...she believed that children belong to everyone. I love that perspective...what a vision for our world. What if we all, regardless of our place in life, embraced every child as our own. Brother Wayne Teasdale quoted Abbot Thomas Keating in his book, The Mystic Hours, saying, "The greatest accomplishment in life is to be who or what you are,and that is what God wanted you to be when He created you." Brother Wayne expands to say, "This ultimate acheivement requires conformity to the Divine's idea of each one of us, the essential perfection of love, mercy, kindness, and compassion in each one of us--expressed through our own uniqueness." While my heart has for many years been drawn to such pure love in action, particularly inspired by the lives of Amy Charmichael and Mother Teresa, and I felt at one time this strange tugging toward India to be a sign that I would one day be there, I am now realizing the connection to be at a different level. I did not go to India, I married and became a mother, yet my desire to know God and serve is just as intense. This is where I am to be, where I am to serve and to embrace who it is I was created to be, conforming right here to God's heart of 'love, mercy, kindness and compassion.' As Mother Teresa, in her Catholic tradition, saw Christ in the face of the least of these, in every faith tradition we are drawn to a compassion that awakens us to the divine in every soul and our responsibility to reach out in love to those around us, seeing the face of God in all His creation.Could we love like that?I found myself wondering if Mother Teresa ever snapped at "her children" in all her weariness, as I sometimes do with my own children. She must have at times felt weary and weak as we all do. Strange how it is often easier to show love and compassion to those outside our home than to those precious souls we live with and are closest to, our children, our spouses, our siblings, our parents. And yet, these are the very ones we are called to love and to serve.And what about those ones we see everyday? What if I was to walk on to the playground when I walk my children to school and look out to see every child, running, laughing, crying, jump-roping, sitting alone, beautiful smiling faces, tousled hair, in need of bathing or perfectly dressed, sweet and friendly or bitter and angry, as "my child"? What if I could see through the eyes of every person I pass and see the very soul who is a part of this whole beautiful, striving creation? What if we saw each other for who we really are instead of for the outer shell that we project to each other? Would we finally fall in love? With the Divine? With his creation?Could we love like that?
First posted November 5, 2007 on A Path to My Woods

With That Moon Language

Admit something:
Everyone you see, you say to them, "Love me."
Of course you do not do this out loud, otherwise
someone would call the cops.
Still, though, think about this, this great pull in us to connect.
Why not become the one who lives with a
full moon in each eye that is
always saying,
with that sweet moon laguage,
what every other eye in
this world is dying to
hear?
~Hafiz~

(translation by Daniel Ladinsky in

Love Poems from God)

First posted November 26, 2006 on A Path to My Woods

Huddled Beneath the Sky

"Life is a journey from hypocrisy to sincerity, from self-centeredness to other-centeredness and love, from self-deception, ingnorance, and illusion to self-honesty, clarity, and truth. We are all immersed in these struggles, whether we realize and accept them or not. Even if we reject them, we have made a choice."
" We can only judge others if we can fulfill two conditions: that we know the other's heart totally, and that we love them unconditionally. Only God can possibly meet these two conditions, therefore only God can judge......."
"The spiritual journey only begins in earnest when we no longer experience the need to judge others, when we begin to take responsibility for our own inner development."
---Wayne Teasdale, The Mystic Heart

Huddled Beneath the Sky

The sadness I have caused any face
by letting a stray word
strike it,

any pain I have caused you,
what can I do to make us even?
Demand a hundredfold of me--I'll pay it.

During the day I hold my feet accountable
to watch out for wondrous insects and their dwellings.

Why would I want to bring horror
into their extraordinary
world?

Magnetic fields draw us to Light: they move our limbs and thoughts.
But it is still dark: if our hearts do not hold a lantern,
we will stumble over each other,

huddled beneath the sky
as we are.

~Rumi~
(translated by Daniel Ladinsky, Love Poems from God)

First posted October 18, 2006 on A Path to My Woods

In All Things

It was easy to love God in all that
was beautiful

The lessons of deeper knowledge, though, instructed me
to embrace God in all
things.
~St. Francis of Assisi~

Do you grieve over failures or shortcomings, look back over your shoulder to see past mistakes looming, whether from yesterday or years ago? No more....rather embrace the heartache, joy, faults and successes of life with the same welcome of a lesson well learned, drawing you step by step closer to the heart of God. You cannot be compassionate and loving towards others until you learn to be compassionate towards yourself and be thankful for it all as a beautiful opportunity to learn and grow

First posted October 16, 2006 on A Path to My Woods

Like a Hungry Beggar

Refuse to fall down.

If you cannot refuse to fall down,refuse to stay down.

If you cannot refuse to stay down

lift your heart toward heaven

and like a hungry beggar,ask that it be filled

and it will be filled.

You may be pushed down.

You may be kept from rising,

But no one can keep you from lifting

your heart toward heaven--only you.

It is in the middle of misery that

so much becomes clear.

The one who says nothing good came of this,

is not yet listening.

~Clarissa Pinkola Estes~