A Lakota Prayer

Oh, Great Spirit,

whose voice I hear in the winds
and whose breath gives life to all the world, hear me.
I am small and weak
I need your strength and wisdom.

Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes
ever behold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made
and my ears sharp to hear your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand
the things you have taught my people.
Let me learn the lessons you have hidden
in every leaf and rock.

I seek strength, not to be superior to my brother,
but to fight my greatest enemy--myself.
Make me always ready to come to you
with clean hands and straight eyes,
so when life fades, as the fading sunset,
my spirit will come to you
without shame.

American Indian
Lakota
Chief Yellow Lark
1887

Words: Inspiration

Just the sound of the word alone stirs up an elusive excitement and longing all at once. The past 6-months for me have been so wrapped up in this idea, gasping for that breath...to be inspired. The irony is wading through a deluge and complaining of thirst. Inspiration is found not in searching but in waking up.

17 Inspiring Words

At the beginning of the month I wrote a list of 17 words. My hope was to visit these words in the month of November during my Nablomopo month of posts. It would not be surprising if all of these words, being regulars to my vocabulary, have showed up in the past 20 days, but making an intention to write posts inspired by each word seems like a fabulous idea!

If you haven't visited My Woods in a while, make sure to go read why I'm thankful for my recent post deficit in the Nablomopo 30 posts in 30 days challenge. Then come back and check up on the word posts...hmmn....word posts. That is a great topic idea for a word-lovers and artist-type people.

Soul Dusting

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.

~Berthold Auerbach

My guitar sits dusty on a stand in the corner most of the time. Years ago, I used to play it everyday. Nothing moves or soothes the soul like music.

Last night I happened to be reading with my little girls, weary from a long, emotional day, when I noticed my guitar in the corner. I was feeling a need all day...a need for something. That was it. So, the girls and I made some music, "Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice."

Brushing the dust off that instrument was like a soul dusting.

That's the good stuff.

More about story...and some of mine

As I get closer to people I'm less inclined to jump to simple conclusions about their life and struggles (or how I might fix them). As the "armchair adviser" in me recedes, compassion, sadness and hope grow. As one of my mentors told me, "When you really get to know another person, sometimes all you'll want to do is weep."

Transparency fosters this continual revelation. And the more open another person is with me, the more clearly I see the truth of Plato's saying, "Be kind to everyone you meet, for everyone is waging a terrible internal battle."

~Jenny Schroedel

I concocted a soymilk eggnog latte this morning, slightly sceptical about how it would turn out. Not bad, though...very sippable. I added just a dash of cinnamon and a few drops of vanilla. Viola! Me, the barista.

Leaving breakfast dishes scattered on the table, I sat down at my computer to start writing, when a full 3D picture of my kitchen sink flashed into my brain, obscuring every other thought. So to the kitchen I flew, mindlessly arranging dirty dishes in a basin of suds and cascading water. Suddenly awareness returned. I blinked my eyes, dazed, hands dripping.

This is about being real, I think to myself. Another authentic moment...the kind that brings you back to the storyline. Mindless dashes are not uncommon in my world, but I've had 34 years now to examine those interesting quirks...not quite so many in higher level thinking.

(I am reminded of this and this and this. )

Here's something real:

When I was younger, I would have instances when disturbing scenarios would repeat over and over in my mind. One common scene would be me getting into a car and shutting the door on my leg. I would try frantically again and again to get that leg in before the door shut. It felt overwhelming, impossible. Finally, with all my brainpower, I would force the leg in and slam the door shut. Sometimes, I felt physically tired from the stress these type of episodes would cause. And, honestly, it was pretty disturbing. I thought I was weird and probably the only person to have this type of brain. High stress seemed to trigger moments like this and make them more intense.

When I felt extra stressed, I would start blinking. Sometimes my eyes would feel stuck closed. I had to work to get them open. As I got older, I would bargain with myself. Say, if I didn't get the silverware put away in the drawer just right, I would have to stab myself with one of the knives. Sounds crazy, I know. I felt a little fearful putting the utensils away, but I never followed through on those sorts of bargains. They were just there, reflecting the inner-struggle. The scenarios changed as I got older, but were always most intense in times of stress or emotional upheaval.

Now I know that I'm not crazy, just a bit obsessive...and knowing is half the battle. I can laugh at my mind's tendancy to need a tidied dorm-room in college before I could start studying.I can laugh at having to make sure the dishes are done before I blog. I can also say to myself, "leave them," and walk away. And that is an accomplishment that brings me peace. My leg no longer gets stuck in the door either. The occasional weird thought is allowed to pass through and move along without having to be "fixed."

A story that once brought me deep pain and frustration now only leaves a tinge of bittersweet. Why? Because this is a little girl I know, whom I have found deep compassion and love for...a little girl who has grown into me. And that makes me smile.

But it's only part of the story and the story is just that...a story....something to learn from, cry, laugh and grow through.

what one can be...

A musician must make music,
an artist must paint,
a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.
What one can be,
one must be.
~Abraham Maslow~

Defining Moments

There came a moment in the middle of the song
when he suddenly felt every heartbeat in the room
& after that he never forgot
he was part of something much bigger.
~Brian Andreas, Trusting Soul

Have you ever had a defining moment...one that effected you so deeply that your whole perspective and way of experiencing the world was turned upside down?

I'm thinking about this question today.

My Story

She stood at the sink so long that her hands were silky smooth, just as Palmolive promised. But the river's current had washed the spoons away. Come with me said the current. And she did.
~R

The Story People

Story

The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best--
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
~Steven Jay Gould

The Story People

Just for fun, go check out artist Brian Andreas and the Story People. Make sure you browse through the stories under StoryLand on the right. They will make you smile.
Then try creating something yourself. It doesn't have to be long or deep or award winning, just authentic and fun. I love this! I'll post mine soon :)

The List

Gratitude is a habit that takes practice. It's one that can transform your life. The happiest and most content people in the world are the ones who have learned to make gratitude a state of being.Since I've been very interested in emotions lately, I'm going to take the time to sit with the question, "What are you thankful for?" and make a list based on what I feel thankful for through my day and at this moment. Why? Because gratitude is a way to experience life every moment, a practice in wakefulness.

Today's List:
1. hot tea
2. the people a hot cup of tea brings to mind
3. poetry written by my daughter
4. my vacuum
5. an afternoon nap
6. listening to my children laugh together at Calvin and Hobbes
7. music
8. 66 degrees and sunny
9. my front porch
10. kindred spirits who cheer and inspire
11. painful impasses in life that refine us
12. my children
13. the honor of motherhood
14. this laptop
15. the man who gave it to me and encouraged me to write.

The Thankful List

Here's the idea I'm pondering today: Thankfulness. Go read this and join me if you like. Then, come back and share with me. I'll share my list with you tomorrow.

love, love, love...

Sacred Sunday: finding stillwaters

Today I'm sitting with some self-doubt and a lot of inner-chatter. This is a common pattern that I'm learning to rest with and wait out. Instead of feeling disturbed, I'm actually interested in the process of what's going on and how to move through it.

Times like this are also part of spiritual growth...finding acceptance and peace, learning to trust and be still. Trying to digest too much at a time can be overwhelming. I read this, I write that, I think and think on everything...what I'm reading, what I'm experiencing, relationships, feelings and questions. System overload. It's better to run one program at time.

So, this week my goal is to slow down, focus in, sit with one idea a day. Instead of reading three chapters of two books, perhaps being still with one idea or question per day would settle my racing thoughts and bring me back to the moment.

This will be a good challenge.

love, love, love...

I once had a sparrow alight upon my shoulder for a moment, while I was hoeing in a village garden, and I felt that I was more distinguished by that circumstance that I should have been by any epaulet I could have worn.

~Henry David Thoreau~

Pumpkins and slowing down.

When my son was about 2 years old he developed a gift for song writing. I like to think he got it from me. His lyrics were thoughtful, well-crafted beyond his years. My favorite of his compositions was The Punkin Song. I obviously can't convey the whole emotion of it without music, but here are the words:

Punkins Punkins
There's so much

to do.

(repeat endlessly)

Now that I think about it, I may have been more of an influence than I believed. I'm pretty sure the Punkins Punkins part was inspired by impending October holidays , but the last part...that was all me.

Since then, I've learned to slow down. sit. feel. let go. and breath. And I'm still learning. It's good.

Happy Halloween. :)

30 posts in 30 days

A few words

Inspiration
Art
Creativity
Spirit
Love
Water
Compassion
Laughter
Trees
Silence
Pain
Thank you
Stillness
Breath
Joy
Path
Yes.

I'll probably visit most of these words in the next 30 days. I hope you join me. :)

Saturday Morning Gush

Is it just me or does the fact that I can be in the middle of putting dishes away and have a surge of desire for my piano, leaving a handful of spoons awaiting my return, qualify me as easily distracted or easily moved? Am I scattered-brained or passionate? Probably a little bit of both. And I like it and I don't.

This is something that is so me that I've tried to change in my quest for responsible adulthood, in the process finding that I like the quirky me-ness of this little person who I am. I have learned at my best moments to laugh and love idiosyncrasies in my personality that might otherwise frustrate me. This is an honest evaluation of where I'm at right now.

At times I step back from an outside view and imagine my soul saying, "Wow, you are a funny little personality to work with." I know that sounds weird but I guess that's exactly what I mean. Of course my career choice allows me to be a bit more indulgent than people who work outside the home. I get to be the stay-home mom and all that entails while my amazing husband works his tail off to make sure I get a latte every Sunday afternoon. He may step back and ponder my funny personality every now and then too. Nobody, including myself, takes my writing endeavors too seriously yet, so I can't quite claim that as a job. It's more of a lifestyle and an evolution.

I have to admit that when I'm in true form, I am quite childlike. Is that okay? Everything gets done, but it gets done in my fashion. And I'm so much happier when I'm living like that than trying to fit myself into the model of what I have believed for so many years that I should be. Not that I don't have room for growth...I DO. The wonderful thing about this discovery is that I can push my way into someone else's idea of how I need to be OR I can love life as me and celebrate the challenge of facing my weaknesses and strengths in my own wonderful way. This is what I choose because it brings me joy. And joy is awesome inspiration for embracing challenges and change.

Inspiration

Chase joy, harness inspiration...........create joy out of the mundane, find inspiration in the everyday! I would love to read your experiences!

Everything

I've had a song by the band Lifehouse repeating on my i-pod for the last few days and now I get to share it with you. The song is called Everything. It's a bit like a crashing meteor to the gut that sends after shocks through your whole body and leaves you with a delicious achey feeling. It is beautiful and lucid and haunting. But one line in particular slams me inside out:

“How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?”

Those of you who love Smallville may have emotional baggage attached to this song. If you don't follow Smallville, let me create some for you:

I am walking along the path to a place I frequent on afternoons like this. I pass a young woman with two bright-faced little girls and greet them with a smile and friendly words. They are a radiant sight together at the water's edge.

"How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?”

Sitting beneath a foot bridge, I look up from my laptop and watch the glistening stream flow northward, northward. An autumnal leaf floats by, carried away by the rippling current.

"How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?”

I read a poem that that lays me flat, stand in a local antique and art market, eyes locked on a faded, earthy landscape. Thank you poet, thank you painter...

"How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?”

The door home opens to the smiles of five brilliant souls who fill my life with meaning. I get to journey with these beautiful growing people. My husband, my children....undefined, ever becoming...with me.

"How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?”

I sit, silent in numinous dark, candle glowing, heart open wide...

"How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?”

What moves you?

How has art moved you?

Why do we ask, “What is the way?”
For there are as many ways
as there are stars in the firmament. ~Gunilla Norris

A few days ago I opened a new book by Gunilla Norris, Simple Ways Towards the Sacred. I was stilled by these first words and found myself repeating them in slow, hushed breaths. How can words, in an unsuspecting instant, reach in and grip your core? And why did these words hold such sway in me? I felt melted and poured into those firmamental stars, spread over a thousand light-years. How can it be? The depths of human sentiment... how art does move us, does stir us, connect us.

Art is the essence
of human soul
laid bare
in longing
for....

How would you finish this statement?

How has art moved you? Have you ever had a moment like this either creating art or experiencing someone else's artwork?

I would love to read your thoughts.

New Balance.

The last few weeks have been crazy...a whirlwind around me and even more so inside. We've been anticipating school to start. Summer's end is always wild. Everybody needs some serious structure, including me, as I have been indulging in the lazy Summer non-schedule too long. The kids are stir-crazy, my hubby's work schedule is insane. And we all feel it. We are scattered.
And then comes my birthday, which also happens to be the first day of school. I'm not usually one to think much of birthdays. In fact, I often forget about it throughout the day, only to be reminded periodically and say to myself, "Oh yeah!" I'm not a big worrier about the age thing...I'm young. This year, it hit me a few days after my birthday, though. I'm thirty-four. For some reason that bothered me. It's not the age that struck me so much. What hit me was the speed of delivery. I mean, I just turned thirty-three. That's what shook me up. The years really are getting shorter as I get older. They were right. I just lost track of a whole year as I've been sloshing through the month of August.

So for my birthday, I got sneakers...New Balance. They are comfy, cute, and just what I needed. Really, ask me what I need. I did need new shoes. But what I would tell you is balance.

a few words from the parenting path...

I did not wake up at 5 a.m. this morning. I had been awake for some time already. I did get out of bed around that time, though, and made my way downstairs to sit in the quiet hours. Conversations from the previous day were lingering through the night and in those waking moments, still persisted in my thoughts.

The conversation was about raising children...that topic. Honestly, I have awesome kids. No, I mean awesome. I've read the gamut of books on the topic and found them useful and worthless. Not one of these author's has raised my child...and I'm not raising yours, but I can tell you what I've learned about life through my experience as a mother. For what it's worth, there's no secret formula and we're all just learning along the way. What a teacher parenting is:)

One of the best things I've come to realize as a parent is that my kids are going to make mistakes...and that's okay. My job is to help them grow through those mistakes and to empower them to choose well, all the while extending grace.

Before I could ever give these gifts to my kids, I had to realize them for myself. My example is my children's first lesson in living. They will mirror my behavior and attitudes about life. Being able to extend grace to myself is a really peaceful place. It's a place where I can say, "Okay, I blew it...let's grow." It's all about, as Thich Nhat Hanh would say, turning compost into flowers....gotta love the compost and flowers.

But the best gift we can give our children is power...the power to choose well.
A few words we use often in our house are: Wisdom, Compassion, Empathy, and Kindness. I tell my children what I believe is absolutely true...that they have all the wisdom they need inside of them to make good choices. The tools to uncover this wisdom are learned. We have the opportunity to teach them to use these tools, by teaching them what these simple concepts mean...and starting young! Don't underestimate kids...and don't lecture them. They get it more than we think. They need the opportunity to solve problems and settle disputes on their own. Ask questions that don't require answers, but action. Then trust them to work it through. Kids can be surprising.

Here are a few concepts to start with (the four I mentioned above) and the definitions I give my kids:

Wisdom: knowing what is right, and doing it
Empower your kids by reminding them that they do have all the wisdom they need right inside them. All they need is the tools...a questioning mind and a desire for truth.
Compassion: the ability to see a need and meet it
Children are naturally compassionate if you give them a chance...expose them to others in need. Don't be afraid to let your kids see the reality of suffering in the world.
Empathy: the ability to feel what others are feeling
Of course, we can't ever feel exactly what others, in their particular circumstances, are feeling. But we can learn to put ourselves in their proverbial shoes and discover what we would feel in their circumstances. Kids are great at this...just ask them. Reading is a great cultivator of this skill, too...children love putting themselves in the place of characters...and they'regood at it.
Kindness: acting with goodness
This wraps it up. The golden rule in short...be kind.

You want a list of rules in your house that will help your children grow?
1.Use Your Wisdom
2.Use Your Compassion
3.Use Your Empathy
4.Treat Each Other With Love and Kindness

My dear child, you have inside you, the potential for good and for evil. You have everything you need to choose well: A mind, to think; A heart, to feel; and a body, to act. You will make mistakes. When you do, give yourself grace. Love the lesson. You will grow in wisdom. Embrace life. And when you pray, let your prayer be 'yes' and 'thank you.'

to love...

When you get over yourself,
you fall in love with the whole world.

~R

Little Yogis

I have to share these precious images of our little yogis. Here's the girls and their best pals next door caught in an impromptu yoga session. I am so proud :)

My Sacred Life: shadows and light

My Sacred Life

If you haven't checked out the My Sacred Life project, just click on the icon to the right. I plan to post a picture every Sunday that reflects my spiritual practice. Hope you enjoy!

Mother, Holding Child

Tonight I held my four-year-old in my arms as she slept, her hand still clasped around her glow-wand from earlier in the evening. Her hair smelled like smoke from roasting marshmallows over the fire, but I pulled her close and kissed her sweet blonde head. Her allergies have been a challenge this summer...the nebulizer has become a bedtime routine, but tonight she fell asleep dirty and happy on the couch before her breathing treatment was ready so I swept her up and cradled her in my arms. A moment to pause... moment of Oneness. At that moment, I was simply mother, holding child....no more, no less, no past, no future...just mother, holding child.

Do you need these words today, too?

I'm just posting this because it spoke so clearly to me as I wrote it as a comment to a sweet friend. Do you need these words today, too?

"It's all in perspective. You can either live life with a constant inner-chatter that says, "I should do this or that, I need to do all these things..." Not that you don't have things to accomplish, we just tend to constantly remind ourselves of the towering pile of laundry while we're doing the dishes or teaching our kids to read or sitting down with a cup of tea. At that moment you are not with your dishes or your kids or your soothing cuppa...you are in the middle of the laundry. Just be present, sweet friend...here, now...then, do the next thing. You will be fully teaching your little one to read when you are teaching your little one to read, then you will move on to the next thing with the thought, "Now, I will do the dishes." Do them fully...with your mind on the dishes...thankful and fulfilled in the moment of dishwashing. Be aware of God's Spirit in every moment, every act. Then, do the next thing. Do not worry about all that needs to be done, just do the next thing. It is your thoughts that overwhelm you, not the laundry itself. The laundry is just what you are doing as you live in this precious moment, aware of Spirit, in you, through you, all around you...holding this whole big beautiful mess together. It is all what you need, my friend...love what it is."

lovelovelove and peace...
~R~

Loss

I've been a fan of Steven Curtis Chapman's music since the mid-eighties. Many of his songs have been a part of my spiritual journey. So I was shocked and saddened to read about the tragic death of the Chapman's youngest daughter last week. Steven and his wife, Mary Beth have a grown daughter and two nearly grown sons and also three adopted daughter's from China. Maria was their youngest.

My heart was deeply moved, though, watching the video below. The song was written about Steven's two youngest daughters, Stevie Joy and Maria Sue.
How precious and fleeting are our moments. Truly, the only moment we have is now. now. and now. Embrace the moment, live fully, be awake, be present.

For the Beauty of the Earth

Quotes from the Wise

I have to share this passage out of Rabbi Rami Shapiro's excellent book, The Sacred Art of Lovingkindness (p. 39):

"Why are we so rarely in a state of grace? Because we rarely have the courage to expend ourselves fully in the moment. We want to know that there will be manna tomorrow, and we imagine that the best way to know this is to hoard some away.....
The dancer holds nothing back. Each movement is full, complete, with nothing left over. This is living in grace. To live in grace you must use up each moment and become empty again. If you accept the fullness of each moment and engage it without hesitation and restraint, if you use it up and leave nothing in its wake, you will be empty again and ready for the next moment.
The problem is that narrow mind is not comfortable with grace. It doesn't trust God to provide. It is by nature a worrier and a hoarder. Narrow mind prefers to engage the world based on merit. According to this paradigm, there are winners and losers, leaders and followers, the successful and the unsuccessful.
God says, 'I deal with each person according to merits, but to the person without merit I give grace' (Deuteronomy Rabbah, Va-Etchanan, 2:1)
The person of merit is the person trapped in narrow mind, preferring to operate on merit and seeing the world as a zero-sum game of winners and losers. The person without merit is the person at home in spacious mind, seeing each moment filled and full to capacity. There are no winners and losers in the world of spacious mind: there are only dancers at one with the Dance that is God."

More inspiration in the kitchen...

Something happened to me yesterday. It was a moment that struck softly but penetrated through and through. Standing in my kitchen, smearing peanut butter across a slice of bread, I was suddenly awoken to the thought that I have everything I need to be blissfully happy in life. Not that this is a really new thought to me. I can't recount how many times I, even in the midst of my own battles with sorrow or frustration, have reminded my children that they in fact have all the wisdom, strength and love that they need for every circumstance right inside of them. Learning to plumb those depths is different from the initial knowledge. Blake's “universe in a grain of sand” seems still too unfathomable to claim as our very own...essence. And yet, this is exactly the sort of moment I had, not in my solitary meditations, but packing my kids lunches for school.
Happiness is a choice...not a striving choice, but a surrendering choice.
We cannot create happiness by amassing wealth or possessions. We cannot expect our family, spouses, children or friends to bring us happiness. Changed circumstances will not bring lasting happiness. Circumstances change, people fail us, and excessive possessions only create an increasing hunger for more. I am not asserting that these things cannot bring some sense of happiness, only that lasting joy and peace come from within yourself. From that wellspring is your soul's inheritance, God's eternal spirit in you. You come from joy.
But here I am writing about something that was just a nugget in my subconscious last week. I haven't stumbled on any thing new. Most of us just aren't living in the awareness of eternity. We get by day after day, going about our responsibilities with our minds wandering in yesterday or tomorrow or in any other place but here...and now. And yet we long for something more, something purposeful and fulfilling. Our vision is farsighted. We look right past the tip of our nose, reaching for something that seems more noble and lasting. But here is our blindness. Looking beyond, we miss those nearest us...those in our community, our street, our home.

I'm standing here in my kitchen making a savory bowl of curried hummus for my children to enjoy with a hodge podge of veggies and crackers, thinking, as I work, of a poem that has recently come to mind.

BECAUSE HE GAVE BIRTH
So
precious
is a person's faith in God
so precious;

never should we
harm that.

Because He gave birth
to all

religions.

~St. Francis of Assisi~
Translation by Daniel Ladinsky
in
Love Poems from God:
Twelve Sacred Voices from the East and West

Hmmmn. I love St. Francis...his words are rich and insightful, springing from a life of contemplation and compassion. That doesn't make him infallible, but his words merit thought. At first read, I embraced this poem for it's lovely ideal. And yet, the more that I contemplate it, the more I have this uneasy feeling.

I want to say "Yes!" but my heart is only half way there. I do not believe that religion was birthed from God in a pure sense. I believe religion was birthed out of man's longing and seeking after God. Humankind reaches out to God and God reaches back, opening our hearts to truth and wisdom. What Aldous Huxley called the perennial philosophy are the eternal truths found at the core of most religions. Sacred writings for thousands of years have reflected man's longing to know God and understand the universe and are laced throughout with these eternal truths coming straight from the heart of God. However, they also reflect the belief systems and traditions different groups of people have attached to these eternal truths in their attempt to explain the nature of God. Some of these traditions have been beneficial to mankind's journey, some have not.

Over time, religion has been used to put God's approval on any number of atrocities and to control masses of people with fear and indoctrination to the point of brainwashing. I know from personal experience the power that fear of eternal punishment and discouragement of thoughtful questioning can have over a person. Not only that, but the exclusive mindset that creates an "us" and "them" division. "Us" being the saved or the chosen, "them" being lost, sinners, the world. Anytime a belief system controls the way people act and think, overshadowing perennial truths, it has reached cultic magnitude.

This is why I say that God has birthed in our hearts eternal truths. Mankind, in his longing, wakens to these truths within himself, permeating creation, so we find this very philosophy throughout sacred texts, from the Bible to the Tao Te Ching, the Dhammapadda, the Upanishads and Gita and other ancient texts. In my studies, I've found that the mystics of every faith-tradition, even in Judaism, Christianity and Islam, have become awake to the eternal truth and risen above the boundries of religion.

I have to quote the Holy Rascal Rabbi Rami Shapiro again:

"A Jew cannot meet God; nor can a Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Confucian or Taoist. No labeled person can meet the Unlabeled and the Unlabelable. Each religious tradition must be self-transcending. Each must lead it's students to a point of departure and help them make the leap from tradition to Truth, God, the nondual reality that is the Source and the Substance of all things."

love love love this quote...I can't think of a better way to sum it up.

Anyway, that's what I think about in my kitchen.

Old Blue Bikes and A Sacred Hush...

When I was a teenager, I found an old blue sears bicycle at a yard sale. It probably dated back to the 1950's, with a heavy frame and a very uncomfortable saddle. But I fell in love with the bike at first sighting...and I bought it for five dollars. The bike and I had many adventures, but more than anything I loved the early mornings and dusks I spent on my bike. In the summer time just around eight, I'd sling my backpack around my shoulders and jump on my old bike, heading for West Street. I don't really know how many evenings I spent sitting on the curb of that dusty old road watching the sun slip below the horizon just past the wheat field across the way. I was sure I could hear the Artist whispering in my ear..."That's for you, Ruthie." In the mornings, I would ride my bike to the city park, then walk and pray as the sun welcomed the new day. My heart thrilled at the sight of the sun and moon so clearly in the sky together...remembering the Psalm, "Where the morning dawns and the evening fades, you bring forth songs of joy." I still believe there's no better time of day than those first breaking beams of morning or the last brilliant brushstrokes in the night sky.
My old bike sits in our backyard now...more of a reminder than anything, although I take it for a ride once in a while. I still would rather spend those first moments and closing of the day in a sacred hush...often times now with a little one in my arms, but with that same sense of God's love...the same awareness of her enduring presence in us, through us, all around us.

A Minor Bird

I have wished a bird would fly away,
and not sing by my house all day;
Have clapped my hands at him from the front door
When it seemed as if I could bare no more.

The fault must partly have been in me.
The bird was not to blame for his key.

And of course there must be something wrong
In wanting to silence any song.

Robert Frost

A Point of Departure

Reading in my well-loved copy of Wayne Teasdale's devotional book, The Mystic Hours, I came across this quote by Rabbi Rami Shapiro:

A Jew cannot meet God; nor can a Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Confucian or Taoist. No labeled person can meet the Unlabeled and the Unlabelable. Each religious tradition must be self-transcending. Each must lead it's students to a point of departure and help them make the leap from tradition to Truth, God, the nondual reality that is the Source and the Substance of all things.

I know I'm stepping out here, but this quote stirred my heart deeply this morning and confirmed so well my own point of departure. The journey here has been long, arduous, at times painful, but finally so rich and full of grace. Sometimes the path felt overgrown and lonely, but looking closely revealed the ruts of other travelers along the way who had made a trail and left markers for weary souls like myself...travelers like Wayne Teasdale and Rabbi Shapiro and so many other seekers who have offered words of wisdom and inspiration to me on this path.

The Path

I have a lot to say on this blog...mainly about where I am and what's going on in my heart...the journey that has shaped the person I'm becoming. For record's sake I wanted to repost some previous entries here on this new blog. Now I'm ready to start fresh. Feel free to question...I'm all about questions. But please keep in mind that I am not a stagnant pond...it is my desire to be an open flowing channel...welcoming change and growth. There's nothing else I want more in life than to be awake...fully present, aware, wise...living love. That's what I'm leaning into, falling into. I want to remember...to know...that everything I experience is just what I need...and to be thankful....

Could We Love Like That?

"I always begin my prayer in silence, for it is in the silence of the heart that God speaks..."

~Mother Teresa~

Luke and I had the movie "Mother Teresa" in our dvd player two nights in a row and were left with the same silence both nights. No words, just a deep, deep longing to be swept over by the Spirit of God found in this woman of devotion and compassion. This was a woman who was able to see each human with the same love and offer the same dignity to even the poorest of the poor, the sick and dying. She led a life of service that flourished directly from her deep life of prayer. Teresa of Calcutta was a human with struggles and frailties, yet she was driven by an unconditional love for humanity.My first instinct upon watching this movie was a longing for such a life of service. If only I could do the same. But I am not Mother Teresa, I am a mother of four precious children and a wife to a man with a heart who longs for the same devotion to our Creator. Teresa had many, many children...she believed that children belong to everyone. I love that perspective...what a vision for our world. What if we all, regardless of our place in life, embraced every child as our own. Brother Wayne Teasdale quoted Abbot Thomas Keating in his book, The Mystic Hours, saying, "The greatest accomplishment in life is to be who or what you are,and that is what God wanted you to be when He created you." Brother Wayne expands to say, "This ultimate acheivement requires conformity to the Divine's idea of each one of us, the essential perfection of love, mercy, kindness, and compassion in each one of us--expressed through our own uniqueness." While my heart has for many years been drawn to such pure love in action, particularly inspired by the lives of Amy Charmichael and Mother Teresa, and I felt at one time this strange tugging toward India to be a sign that I would one day be there, I am now realizing the connection to be at a different level. I did not go to India, I married and became a mother, yet my desire to know God and serve is just as intense. This is where I am to be, where I am to serve and to embrace who it is I was created to be, conforming right here to God's heart of 'love, mercy, kindness and compassion.' As Mother Teresa, in her Catholic tradition, saw Christ in the face of the least of these, in every faith tradition we are drawn to a compassion that awakens us to the divine in every soul and our responsibility to reach out in love to those around us, seeing the face of God in all His creation.Could we love like that?I found myself wondering if Mother Teresa ever snapped at "her children" in all her weariness, as I sometimes do with my own children. She must have at times felt weary and weak as we all do. Strange how it is often easier to show love and compassion to those outside our home than to those precious souls we live with and are closest to, our children, our spouses, our siblings, our parents. And yet, these are the very ones we are called to love and to serve.And what about those ones we see everyday? What if I was to walk on to the playground when I walk my children to school and look out to see every child, running, laughing, crying, jump-roping, sitting alone, beautiful smiling faces, tousled hair, in need of bathing or perfectly dressed, sweet and friendly or bitter and angry, as "my child"? What if I could see through the eyes of every person I pass and see the very soul who is a part of this whole beautiful, striving creation? What if we saw each other for who we really are instead of for the outer shell that we project to each other? Would we finally fall in love? With the Divine? With his creation?Could we love like that?
First posted November 5, 2007 on A Path to My Woods

With That Moon Language

Admit something:
Everyone you see, you say to them, "Love me."
Of course you do not do this out loud, otherwise
someone would call the cops.
Still, though, think about this, this great pull in us to connect.
Why not become the one who lives with a
full moon in each eye that is
always saying,
with that sweet moon laguage,
what every other eye in
this world is dying to
hear?
~Hafiz~

(translation by Daniel Ladinsky in

Love Poems from God)

First posted November 26, 2006 on A Path to My Woods

Huddled Beneath the Sky

"Life is a journey from hypocrisy to sincerity, from self-centeredness to other-centeredness and love, from self-deception, ingnorance, and illusion to self-honesty, clarity, and truth. We are all immersed in these struggles, whether we realize and accept them or not. Even if we reject them, we have made a choice."
" We can only judge others if we can fulfill two conditions: that we know the other's heart totally, and that we love them unconditionally. Only God can possibly meet these two conditions, therefore only God can judge......."
"The spiritual journey only begins in earnest when we no longer experience the need to judge others, when we begin to take responsibility for our own inner development."
---Wayne Teasdale, The Mystic Heart

Huddled Beneath the Sky

The sadness I have caused any face
by letting a stray word
strike it,

any pain I have caused you,
what can I do to make us even?
Demand a hundredfold of me--I'll pay it.

During the day I hold my feet accountable
to watch out for wondrous insects and their dwellings.

Why would I want to bring horror
into their extraordinary
world?

Magnetic fields draw us to Light: they move our limbs and thoughts.
But it is still dark: if our hearts do not hold a lantern,
we will stumble over each other,

huddled beneath the sky
as we are.

~Rumi~
(translated by Daniel Ladinsky, Love Poems from God)

First posted October 18, 2006 on A Path to My Woods

In All Things

It was easy to love God in all that
was beautiful

The lessons of deeper knowledge, though, instructed me
to embrace God in all
things.
~St. Francis of Assisi~

Do you grieve over failures or shortcomings, look back over your shoulder to see past mistakes looming, whether from yesterday or years ago? No more....rather embrace the heartache, joy, faults and successes of life with the same welcome of a lesson well learned, drawing you step by step closer to the heart of God. You cannot be compassionate and loving towards others until you learn to be compassionate towards yourself and be thankful for it all as a beautiful opportunity to learn and grow

First posted October 16, 2006 on A Path to My Woods

Like a Hungry Beggar

Refuse to fall down.

If you cannot refuse to fall down,refuse to stay down.

If you cannot refuse to stay down

lift your heart toward heaven

and like a hungry beggar,ask that it be filled

and it will be filled.

You may be pushed down.

You may be kept from rising,

But no one can keep you from lifting

your heart toward heaven--only you.

It is in the middle of misery that

so much becomes clear.

The one who says nothing good came of this,

is not yet listening.

~Clarissa Pinkola Estes~