a few words from the parenting path...

I did not wake up at 5 a.m. this morning. I had been awake for some time already. I did get out of bed around that time, though, and made my way downstairs to sit in the quiet hours. Conversations from the previous day were lingering through the night and in those waking moments, still persisted in my thoughts.

The conversation was about raising children...that topic. Honestly, I have awesome kids. No, I mean awesome. I've read the gamut of books on the topic and found them useful and worthless. Not one of these author's has raised my child...and I'm not raising yours, but I can tell you what I've learned about life through my experience as a mother. For what it's worth, there's no secret formula and we're all just learning along the way. What a teacher parenting is:)

One of the best things I've come to realize as a parent is that my kids are going to make mistakes...and that's okay. My job is to help them grow through those mistakes and to empower them to choose well, all the while extending grace.

Before I could ever give these gifts to my kids, I had to realize them for myself. My example is my children's first lesson in living. They will mirror my behavior and attitudes about life. Being able to extend grace to myself is a really peaceful place. It's a place where I can say, "Okay, I blew it...let's grow." It's all about, as Thich Nhat Hanh would say, turning compost into flowers....gotta love the compost and flowers.

But the best gift we can give our children is power...the power to choose well.
A few words we use often in our house are: Wisdom, Compassion, Empathy, and Kindness. I tell my children what I believe is absolutely true...that they have all the wisdom they need inside of them to make good choices. The tools to uncover this wisdom are learned. We have the opportunity to teach them to use these tools, by teaching them what these simple concepts mean...and starting young! Don't underestimate kids...and don't lecture them. They get it more than we think. They need the opportunity to solve problems and settle disputes on their own. Ask questions that don't require answers, but action. Then trust them to work it through. Kids can be surprising.

Here are a few concepts to start with (the four I mentioned above) and the definitions I give my kids:

Wisdom: knowing what is right, and doing it
Empower your kids by reminding them that they do have all the wisdom they need right inside them. All they need is the tools...a questioning mind and a desire for truth.
Compassion: the ability to see a need and meet it
Children are naturally compassionate if you give them a chance...expose them to others in need. Don't be afraid to let your kids see the reality of suffering in the world.
Empathy: the ability to feel what others are feeling
Of course, we can't ever feel exactly what others, in their particular circumstances, are feeling. But we can learn to put ourselves in their proverbial shoes and discover what we would feel in their circumstances. Kids are great at this...just ask them. Reading is a great cultivator of this skill, too...children love putting themselves in the place of characters...and they'regood at it.
Kindness: acting with goodness
This wraps it up. The golden rule in short...be kind.

You want a list of rules in your house that will help your children grow?
1.Use Your Wisdom
2.Use Your Compassion
3.Use Your Empathy
4.Treat Each Other With Love and Kindness

My dear child, you have inside you, the potential for good and for evil. You have everything you need to choose well: A mind, to think; A heart, to feel; and a body, to act. You will make mistakes. When you do, give yourself grace. Love the lesson. You will grow in wisdom. Embrace life. And when you pray, let your prayer be 'yes' and 'thank you.'

to love...

When you get over yourself,
you fall in love with the whole world.

~R

Little Yogis

I have to share these precious images of our little yogis. Here's the girls and their best pals next door caught in an impromptu yoga session. I am so proud :)

My Sacred Life: shadows and light

My Sacred Life

If you haven't checked out the My Sacred Life project, just click on the icon to the right. I plan to post a picture every Sunday that reflects my spiritual practice. Hope you enjoy!

Mother, Holding Child

Tonight I held my four-year-old in my arms as she slept, her hand still clasped around her glow-wand from earlier in the evening. Her hair smelled like smoke from roasting marshmallows over the fire, but I pulled her close and kissed her sweet blonde head. Her allergies have been a challenge this summer...the nebulizer has become a bedtime routine, but tonight she fell asleep dirty and happy on the couch before her breathing treatment was ready so I swept her up and cradled her in my arms. A moment to pause... moment of Oneness. At that moment, I was simply mother, holding child....no more, no less, no past, no future...just mother, holding child.

Do you need these words today, too?

I'm just posting this because it spoke so clearly to me as I wrote it as a comment to a sweet friend. Do you need these words today, too?

"It's all in perspective. You can either live life with a constant inner-chatter that says, "I should do this or that, I need to do all these things..." Not that you don't have things to accomplish, we just tend to constantly remind ourselves of the towering pile of laundry while we're doing the dishes or teaching our kids to read or sitting down with a cup of tea. At that moment you are not with your dishes or your kids or your soothing cuppa...you are in the middle of the laundry. Just be present, sweet friend...here, now...then, do the next thing. You will be fully teaching your little one to read when you are teaching your little one to read, then you will move on to the next thing with the thought, "Now, I will do the dishes." Do them fully...with your mind on the dishes...thankful and fulfilled in the moment of dishwashing. Be aware of God's Spirit in every moment, every act. Then, do the next thing. Do not worry about all that needs to be done, just do the next thing. It is your thoughts that overwhelm you, not the laundry itself. The laundry is just what you are doing as you live in this precious moment, aware of Spirit, in you, through you, all around you...holding this whole big beautiful mess together. It is all what you need, my friend...love what it is."

lovelovelove and peace...
~R~